My uncle just made a contraption that translates the barks and wheezes from pugs into a more understandable format.
Gary: *yaaawn* “whoa Cory, that was a killer nap!”
Cory: “hellz yeah bitch.”
Gary: “I really wish you wouldn’t curse like that, theres just no need.”
Cory: “Sorry dawg, ever since this cunt switched us to dry dog food Im on the edge ready to chew a mother fucker out!”
Gary: “I hardly think you should call her a cunt, Cory, she feeds us and gives us shelter.”
Cory: “yo man, its like dis, I don’t need her sandy ass food, I eat shit all DAY son.”
Gary: “So? What about love? She loves you and I very much.”
Cory: “when was the last time she gave me a belly ru...ru....AHAAAACK. Sorry bro.”
Gary: “You just puked on her favorite couch!”
Cory: “So?”
Gary: “we’re not even supposed to be UP here!!”
Cory: “How can she punish me? She's already taken my testicles!!”
Gary: “This isn’t about not having wet food, is it Cory? This is about your balls.”
Cory: (Weeping uncontrollably) “oh god yes! I just can’t believe I let her pet me and then one day, GONE. THEY’RE GONE GARY!”
Gary: “One day at a time bro, one day at a time. What say you and I run around the kitchen island until we almost pass out and wheeze for 20 minutes?”
Cory: “Deal, hey Cory....”
Gary: “yeah man?”
Cory: “Good boy.”
Gary: “you too, you too."
