He was also a huge fan of zoology and because of this fact spent most of his time in the zoo, he would spend all day giving fake tours to patrons reciting mostly true information regarding the animal class and phylum until getting kicked out by the parks managers, security guards or popped corn venders (all of which had a “toss out on site” poster in their quarters).
One day he grew sick of learning about animals through Wikipedia and Zoo magazines he once had a prescription to as a child. He yearned for understanding. To FEEL what it was like. He thought about it and knew there is only one man he could go to that could help him with his problems. Dr.Loinsky. Although he didn’t trust him and had heard awful gut wrenching stories about the doctor he had to try.
After a back breaking 15 minute walk to the mad scientists house he knocked on the large wooden doors separating him from his destiny. Immediately after knocking the Doctor opened the door with a quickness that was somewhat unsettling to Peter.
“FUUUUCK” Peter said with a similar speed to that which to big ass doors were open in.
“GAAAAAAAAHUI HUI” Dr.Loinsky was also startled because he did not expect to open his door to a man kid screaming profanities and him.
Once the two had calmed down Peter inquired about the doctors experiments and practices.
“What the shit is wrong with your face” to which the Doctor replied
“none of your shitty business, why are you even here?”
"Because I want to be a fuckin spider dude! So I can FEEL what its like” Peter said as if the Doctor was foolish for even asking even though before 2 minutes ago the two had never come into contact.
“Oh here, I can make that happen”. Bing bang bong, all of a sudden the Doc pulled a Giant needle out of his ass and poke Peter with a deepness that could only be compared to the deepness of love he feels for his animal kin. Peter then went home and took a sweet ass nap.
“AAAAARRRGHH, BLAAGGGGGHH” Peter awoke puking his guts out as if the world asked him to do so and he responded “hell yes world, because you need me to”. once he had gotten rid of everything in his body he ran to the attic where he began to gorge on moths long since dead. He was thinking that this blew for the most part but surly there was to be some kick-ass benefits as well.
Years went by and the list of gross things grew, the moths and squirting silk out his butt were ok But the numerous eyes under his hair had starting to give him the most confusing itch he had ever had. The hairs on his leg grew coarse and resembled spaghetti (before you cook it).
the nesting between trees instead of his bed, hiding in giant shoes, lurking in the garage between boxes.
His mother had enough of it and threw him out.
Now he knows what its like, to be a human spider.
