Get out and stay out Richard Gere

Big old creep, grey hair

Bad bad movies, pretty woman was lame

Hamster hamster in your butt

A timid adventure

Murph and Dr.Octagon were taken to the park one day and had this to say.

Murph:  “Hey Doc, pretty nice weather we’re having.”

Dr.Octagon:   “yeah, if you like dirt getting under your nails and other dogs sniffing 8 inches inside your asshole,  this outdoor business isn’t for me.  I’m pedigree.”

Murph:   “Pedigree?  you don’t even know what that means, you just overheard that word when you were eavesdropping on those two poodles.”

Dr.Octagon:   “doesn’t matter, Im getting dusty being out here, its....oh....yeah, it’s getting in my eyes”

Murph:   “come on and live a little, hop outside of your emotional basket so we can hop out of the basket we are actually in right now.”

Dr.Octagon:   “ok.”     

Told you it was timid

I’m sorry, so so so sorry (says the dramatic Boxer)

Dear Robinson Family,
     I have to come clean, I can no longer hold this in.   It breaks my heart each and every day to go on trips to the park when I know I don’t deserve them.  I’ve been a bad puppy I know.  Maybe I just wasn’t cut out to live in a house, maybe I was suppose to live under a bridge somewhere and end up getting hit by a car instead of dying naturally at the old age of 13.   I should’ve never been born, maybe just ran away when you guys first brought me home.   I don’t know why I did it, I just get so exited when I see you!  it shames me to say this but I’m leaving.  I can’t pee on the carpet one more time.  When I hide it I feel like a dagger is in my heart that you will have to clean it up not knowing what happened because I am just too ashamed to tell you.   I left the last of my treats by the back door and a pile of vomit with some grass in it in the backyard if any of you want it.  I’ll stay one more night and in the morning, if you pet me, I know you will want me to stay even WITH my flaws.
Don’t put up missing posters, I will not respond.

Good bye,
Love,
Mr. Bacon snugglepuss.

I’m cool and would like it if you addressed me as such

I have to make this one short because my mom Is calling me down for our bi-weekly Tuesday night late night pancake mash up.    (I’ll blog about it later, sheesh)




I may have told you about my friend Stephen Hawking earlier in my blog, I don’t remember, I have a lot of friends.  TONS of them.  I have friends coming out of my ear but that is neither here nor there, what I came to talk to you about is the fact that what you THINK you know about Stephen Hawking is BULLSHIT,  sure he has been to space and back, sure he invented gravity AND the Joke about blondes throwing away M&Ms at the factory because she thought they were mis-printed W&Ws (LOL all the way to the bank)   but what you DON’T know is that he is also a supreme ladies man.  I know because he was a student of mine, I taught him how to do this.

Exhibit a-1033

Look at this guy, playin it cool chillin with some fine bitches poolside (I believe this was in Wisconsin summer of 98).  Could he have done this with out me?  We’ll never know, but, no he couldn’t have.  Those girls are waiting on him hand and foot.

 Let me start at the beginning,  I (being the ladies man I am) have touched many boobies and Stephen Hawking knew this after he saw me touching a boob at a high brow hollywood party in Idaho.  He came up to me and said......

Stephen Hawking:  “Whoa man, is that a boob you’re touching?”

Me: “Yeah man, what of it?”

Stephen Hawking:  “Well man, I bet you do that all the time judging by your relaxed posture and vocabulary that could make even ME, a scientist of stuff, dizzy.”

Me: “Thanks man, it happens every day.”

Needless to say he hired me to show him the ways of being a cool dude and awesome lady master like me.  Here is a picture of him after graduating my course.   Also, he payed out of his ass for it so I’m  rich.

  

Also, he gave me the keys to a jet.