Hey pal! welcome to the big leagues! If you are reading this that means you are over the hill and the next step of life is on your mind. DEATH, Hurray! Did you know out of all the people that have ever lived, the greater majority of them are dead as shit!? In fact they will be dead as shit for a pretty long ass time. Most of our time on earth will be spent dead as shit, Having said that I think the natural flow of thought brings us to one of two questions. 1.) “How can I look my best when I’m dead as shit?” and 2.) “Are you sure I won’t live forever?”. Let me answer the second question first. No, I’m not sure. I’m fairly sure Doctors are working with small babies to find the source of their youth and softness. Here is a list on how to ensure that your Corpse will be the bell at any Zombie ball.
TIMELESS OUTERWEAR
- Stripe sport coats (avoid bright colors)
- Penny loafers
- Scarves of any sort (avoid silk)
- Top hats and monocles do wonders for the chubbier body type.
That leads me to my last tip. Don’t be afraid to get a little crazy with it, when the zombie holocaust/ Ball happens do you think people are really going to notice a guy from to 20th century with jeans and a vintage tee on? NO, so go, splurge on a civil war costume! Better yet, get a kings crown, cape and some jewelry. Tell them you were the king of the aztecs!
